While the following information is written from a Buddhist perspective, others may find the material helpful in their own context.

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This section is primarily for those who are committed to following the path of Awakening.

It is a kind of checklist of practical issues that need thinking about in order to prepare for our death as Buddhists. … As Buddhists, we regularly reflect on death as an essential part of our practice.

Even so, we may find that we have not thought through what kind of a mess and confusion we might inadvertently be leaving behind for other people to clear up. It is considerate to those we leave behind to have all our affairs in order.

Since we do not know when we are going to die, this means getting them in order right away.

Having done this, when the time does come to die, we and our loved ones can focus all our attention on connecting to the path of Awakening, rather than worry about practicalities such as our will, our wishes in regard to our property, our funeral, and so on.

Planning for Your Own Death

In case we are no longer able to communicate our wishes to others when we come to die, those who are in attendance on us need a means of knowing our wishes in regard to matters such as when to switch off life-support systems, the level of drugs we would like administered, how long we wish our corpse left undisturbed, organ donation, and so on. The document that deals with this is known as a living will.

The need for a living will has arisen because of advances in modern medicine, which can interfere with and unnaturally prolong the natural process of dying, sometimes more or less indefinitely. It helps medical staff, close relatives, and friends to arrive at a sensible decision about what treatment and support to provide.

It would be against Dharma principles to ask to be killed in order to avoid suffering.

However, whether all cases of withholding medical intervention are killing is a debatable point.

From the Buddhist perspective, when it comes to grey areas like this, each person has to make their own decision based on Buddhist principles.

We are not always in a position to know for sure which of a number of possible actions is for the greater good or the greater harm, so we just have to make a choice and accept the consequences.

If our motive for making that choice is based on sound principles and proceeds from our heart, this is the best we can do.

If there are any negative karmic consequences arising from our decision, we will have to suffer them, but at least we can know that whatever those consequences are, they will be mitigated by the fact that we acted in good faith and with the best of intentions.

I would encourage people to consider these issues, and make their wishes known.

If we find ourselves in the position of having to take responsibility for decisions on someone else’s behalf, we will have to make our best judgement in the circumstances.

All we can do is look at the situation as honestly as we can, taking into account our own motivation and state of knowledge, and make the best choice we can. This is a time to pray for guidance if ever there was one.

It is often very helpful to reflect on what you yourself would like if you were in the same position.

Pet owners often face difficult issues like these, and the general perspectives I am giving here generally apply for animals as well as people.

In view of all this, making a living will would obviously be very helpful. In this way we take responsibility on ourselves for whatever actions are taken on our behalf at the time of death.

Similarly, it is important to write a “last will and testament” that is clear and properly drawn up, in order to minimize any disputes or disharmony after we are gone.

We can use the testament to cover items such as:

• The name of our executor and the dispersal of our personal possessions,

• Whether we would prefer a post-mortem not to be performed,

• Whether we wish to be cremated or buried,

• The kind of funeral service we would like,

• Whether we would like gifts to be donated to a particular charity, or

• Offerings to made to certain teachers or communities on our behalf, and so on.

For practising Buddhists, it is very beneficial to inform our Dharma friends and family of our spiritual wishes in the event of our death. This is something we can discuss with those who are close to us.

It can also be a great comfort for those who are practising to feel they are fulfilling the exact wishes of the deceased, but our requests should take into account what they are likely to feel inspired to do.

Personally, I would like people to do what they feel most conviction about and dedicate it to me and the fulfilment of my wishes.

Here are some examples of the sort of instructions you might address to those who will be around you and looking after you in your final days.

• Please inform my Dharma Teacher/s […] as soon as possible and follow any advice he or she gives, even if it is contrary to what I have written below.

• I do not want to be kept on a life-support system if medical opinion is reasonably certain that I will never regain consciousness.

• I would like to be given drugs to reduce intense pain, but not ones that make me unconscious when I die.

• I wish to die where my Dharma teachers and/or Dharma friends can stay near me rather than in hospital.

• I wish to donate any of my organs that may be of use to others, and my body to be used for any purpose that advances the cause of medicine or science. Otherwise, I would like my body left undisturbed for at least forty minutes after death.

• I would like my remains to be cremated and my ashes left in a place sacred to Buddhists.

• I would like a Buddhist funeral led by my own Dharma teachers or Dharma friends. I would like my relatives and friends to make readings of their choice for me.

• I would like a modest display of flowers at the funeral and for the rest of the money that friends and relatives might have spent on flowers to be used for the following Dharma or charitable purposes: […].

• I would like my Dharma friends to have my name on their shrine and mention my name for forty-nine days when dedicating their regular practice. • I would like my Dharma friends to do the following practices […] or whatever practice they feel most inspired by, and dedicate them to me.

• I would like them to do the following practice […] at the end of forty-nine days and on the first anniversary of my death.

The Funeral

Ceremonies are very helpful at times of transition, and give meaning and direction at a time when emotions are running high and things can be very confusing.

Ceremonies help to acknowledge what is happening and give the transition a very supportive spiritual and social context.

A funeral service can be devised using readings that the deceased and their dear ones find inspiring, incorporating as much Buddhist input as seems appropriate.

The family might wish for a Buddhist teacher or practitioner to lead the proceedings to give them a sense of depth and connection with an authentic spiritual tradition.

Funeral or memorial services can take the form of a kind of celebration of the life of the deceased, and from the Buddhist point of view this is a good way of helping the deceased understand that, though loved, they are dead and gone and should depart in peace. However, such events are mainly helpful for the bereaved and not much to do with helping the dead.

I find it interesting that in these days, when families have so often become dispersed and seldom meet up, it is funerals rather than any other single event that brings them all together again and again. It is almost as if we still intuit that heart connections are important at death, even though time and distance make it far from obvious why this should be.

Order of Service

Family and friends are invited to join in silent remembrance of the deceased, both as a way of expressing their own feelings of connection, respect and sadness, and as a way of giving spiritual support to the deceased.

We then hear from various participants as they share memories, songs, poems, or thoughts connected with the deceased.

Finally, the following Buddhist scripture is read and people are invited to join in with the mantra if they feel inspired to do so.

Reading of the Heart Sutra

The Heart Sutra connects us to the living tradition of Buddhism and expresses the whole essence of the Buddha’s teaching on how the ultimate nature of reality (here called Prajnaparamita) is beyond conceptual grasping (called here emptiness).

This nature unites us all as a single essence and yet we each manifest individually according to our connections. This single essence lies at the heart of our being and, to the extent that each of us can link into that in a genuine way, we link into the heart essence of all beings and bring them support and comfort.

Listen to the recitation of the sutra as you would an inspiring story. It speaks of a reality that lies beyond birth and death. As the mantra is recited, let your feeling of connection with the deceased link you to all those gathered here in their memory and to all beings. The mantra is an ancient prayer for the ending of suffering and confusion and the dawning of spiritual awakening.

[Note: The Heart Sutra is a popular sutra in Mahayana Buddhism. In Sanskrit, the title translates as “The Heart of the Perfection of Wisdom”. The Sutra famously states, “Form is emptiness, emptiness is form.” It is a condensed exposé on the Buddhist Mahayana teaching of the Two Truths doctrine, which says that ultimately all phenomena are emptiness. It has been called “the most frequently used and recited text in the entire Mahayana Buddhist tradition.” The text has been translated into English dozens of times from Chinese, Sanskrit and Tibetan as well as other source languages. (Source: wikipedia.org)]

Invoking the Power of the Truth

In the Buddhist tradition, as in our own folk tradition, it is believed that words of truth spoken from the heart have the power of fulfilment. In this spirit we recite the following:

Through the power of the truth of the true nature of our being,

The indestructible essence of the heart,

Through the power of the truth of our inherent qualities

Of openness, clarity, and sensitivity,

Through the power of our inescapable connection with each other

And the all-pervading truth of the Buddha,

Through the power of all the good that we have done,

Do, or ever will do,

May you and all beings always find your way on the path to Awakening,

Without fear, obstacle, or hindrance.

May you be protected from fear – be relaxed and fearless.

May you be protected from grasping and clinging – remember everything passes.

May you be protected from anger and hatred – let go of everything good or bad.

With thoughts full of love and joy,

Thinking of how we will all meet again and again,

Determined to repay the kindness of all beings,

And repair all the harm we have ever done or will do,

May you pass in peace from this life into the next.

The Committal

The committal is the portion of the service in which the remains are actually committed to the elements (for example, sent rolling into the furnace at a crematorium, or lowered into the ground in a burial).

At a Christian burial service, the traditional words for the committal are, “earth to earth, dust to dust, ashes to ashes,” and so on.

As an example, here is the text I used at the cremation of a non-Buddhist friend whose wife was a Buddhist.

This body is merely the shell of the spirit that lived within it.

That spirit has now gone and is experiencing another world, another life, another magical display of illusion.

Yet the essence of —’s being remains within our hearts.

It is in our hearts that we come to know this, the profoundest of mysteries. Our connection with — and with each other does not die when our bodies die.

Our connection, the connection that we feel and know in our hearts, is not of the nature of what dies.

It is constant, and it is in this constancy that we put our trust, as we commit their body to the flames.

We take the inspiration of their life into our life, living our life for the benefit of others in whatever way we can and as they would have been glad to see.

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Source: Based on Hookham, Lama Shenpen. There’s More to Dying Than Death: A Buddhist Perspective. Cambridge, UK: Windhorse Publications, 2006.

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